This Septic Pile

Considering the present prospect of England, I thought it best that John of Gaunt's speech on England be updated, lest we take some false solace from it. This is how Shakespeare had him describe England in Richard II (Act 2, Scene 1):

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,--
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

And this is a version that best befits our modern land:

This rank throng of morons, this septic pile,
This heap of lowliness, this feat of ours,
This other Hades, pandemonium,
This shack built by Politics for itself
Against redemption and the rule of law,
This wretched gang of men, this mighty herd,
This worthless rock amidst the slimy sea,
Which serves neither sovereign task to forestall
Nor lost and defamed duty to preserve
Against the claims for just inclusion in
This cursed blot, this heap, this wreck, this England.